If I never knew you


I suspect the following words are going to be few of the hardest ones to write. This is my second attempt, as my first draft vanished into the air right after I clicked “Save”. Ironic. Nevertheless, writing would be the best medium for me to express how I feel, what I would like to say, and the things I’d like to convey. I wanted to sing for you but I know nothing about intonations, let alone tunes, and I am going to ruin any song that I try to sing. I don’t draw, I don’t sew, I don’t make crafts… Therefore, I hope you’re okay with this.

So, hello, lad. We have been together for a few hundred days, huh? 365 felt so fast yet so slow at the same time. It feels so fast until I feel like I have never even known you before; it feels so slow I get to bitch about the fact that we have only been together for one year. Despite these, I am grateful I get to go through the ticks and the tocks with you. In between the traffic jams – so crazy they make most of us lose our sanity; and inside an airplane that takes off at 200 miles per hour. The way time goes by will always be a secret, but I can never ask for a better way to experience it.

You have changed me. You have made me a much better person. It has been full of surprises. You surprisingly have made me rediscover myself. My wounds and scars have surprisingly been healed. My phobias are even cured. No more being breathless in elevators. No more having a leaping heart while conversing on a rooftop for our anniversary dinner.

You are my version of Forrest Gump’s box full of chocolates, “You never know what you are going to get”. I did not know how you would “taste” before I “opened” you, before I saw everything in you – but as soon as I did, I completely love it. Both the sweet and bitterness. Day and night. 24/7/365. I consume it until it runs out, and am yearning for more. Can I ask for more? Can I melt with you?

I remember when you said you can promise me nothing about forever, for the future is full of uncertainties, and I told you we can never know who our soulmate is. But… I also remember when you promised me you would stay by my side no matter how ugly things might get, and you agreed when I told you the only thing to figure out if we are soulmate for each other or not would be to stay together until we depart.

Thank you.

For being the person who always reminds me to protect my dreams, and pursue them. For being the person who contains me. For wanting to stick with me no matter how irritating I have always been. For still being there and still listening whenever I babble about everything in my life. For being the place to lean on when I had to go through the lowest points of my life. For getting along with my family. For letting me get along with yours. For reminding me to always be good, and do good deeds to others. For making me wanting to be a much better version of myself. For wanting to make me proud. For succeeding of making me proud. For the gifts. For the surprise, stolen kisses. For the warmest hugs ever. For the stories. For the laughs. For the advices. For the lessons. For the dates. For the night outs. For the night ins. For wanting to invent your dreams with me. For letting me be a part of your life. For asking me to be a part of mine.

For wanting to be responsible for my feelings, especially my happiness.

Happy first anniversary, sweetheart. I hope this would not be our only one. I’ve got no problem if I’ll have to write a piece like this every year (as long as you give Telling the World song like today…). But, if, it is our only anniversary – I am sure I will never regret of agreeing to be in this relationship.

I love you. I hope I have made you happy. :)

I’m so grateful to you, I’d have lived my whole life through lost forever… if I never knew you.

Are you sure you’d like to blend?


One of my best friends, Sasha, recommended a song by Tonex, called “Blend“. It’s a great song, embedded with beautifully written lyrics. Tonex reminds me of DC Talk, both of them combine gospel and R&B, and are praised by doing so.

Have you ever wished you were someone else? Have you ever idolized someone so much you wish you could have been like him/her? Having a role model does not mean we have to follow everything he/she does. It means having an external motivation. It means having a tool to remind yourself that you can go beyond the boundaries, that you can go forth–eliminate the limits. It means you can be the best version of yourself. No need to be someone else. No need to be anyone else.

Do you really wanna be like them?
Do you really wanna act like them?
Do you really wanna sound like them?
Why do you try so hard to blend?

Do you really wanna look like them?
Do you really wanna talk like them?
Do you really wanna sing like them?
Why do you try so hard to blend?

You wonder why they hate you
You wonder why they tolerate you
You wonder why you had to be you
Cause you’re trying too hard to blend
You wonder why they spite you
No matter how hard you try
Because you’re never blending with them
You are unique in God’s eyes 

Cause by the time you blend into one thing
It’s time to blend into something else
Blending take
s too much of your energy
Be you for who you are
Because someone wants to be like you
And they might just lose their star

Who’s your role model, by the way? I got a lot, which includes Ronan Farrow. Oops, I meant, he’s a role model whom I’d love to have as a boyfriend. :>

Traveling tips


I traveled out of the city for a conference sometime ago for approximately 5 days. Everything I had to bring (including business attire) fitted in a small luggage and a small backpack. My friend brought two big luggages, one travel bag, and one carry-on women handbag. I can never travel like that. :p

I usually travel alone – yes, just like Ryan Bingham on “Up In The Air”. Here are some basic tips from me – especially if you are going to travel alone for the first time.

  1. Travel light – Yes, it is one of the most important things. If you want to have a fun trip, do not bring too many items (especially clothes). You won’t suffer wearing the same jeans, shoes, and jackets/coats everyday. It would be difficult to travel on your own if you bring so many luggages. Only bring what you can bring while traveling a far distance on foot. Before I pack, I always go to this website: The Universal Packing List.
  2. Research – Read a lot about the place you are going. Almost everything can be found on the Internet. You can also buy books about those places. Before I travel somewhere, I usually read about it on a number of websites. Here are my favourite websites: WikiTravel, TripAdvisor, and VirtualTourist. Also check about the public transportation and its costs.
  3. Re-check your documents – Read again! Do the names on your passport and ticket match? Do you need a visa to visit the place? If you do, have you applied? How long is the visa application process? Make copies of them and put these copies in all bags you bring.
  4. Prepare your cash – Some people choose to exchange their money abroad. Truth to be told, Rupiah is not that “internationally renowned”. It is never listed, therefore it can be assumed, people don’t ask for Rupiah and it makes Rupiah depreciated. We might lose much by exchanging our cash abroad. So, exchange your cash here (and not in the airport though)! I recommend Dua Sisi Money Changer (they have branches in Grand Indonesia, Senayan City, Plaza Senayan). They are very helpful, offer good rates, and sometimes have the currency others don’t. My family relative recommended Bali Inter, but they once sold CHF on IDR 10,000/CHF and wanted to buy my CHF for only IDR 8,000/CHF. What a rip off. Good thing Dua Sisi saved the day by buying my CHF at IDR 10,000/CHF.
  5. Prepare your cards, too – Your ATM card is probably accepted overseas. BCA is a part of the Cirrus and Maestro network, Mandiri is a part of Visa, and so on. Check your bank’s website to know how much will it cost to withdraw your money abroad (for emergency situations). However, I was advised that using credit card overseas is better than using debit card – because credit cards have fraud insurance. I once withdrew my cash using my Mandiri ATM card in London. I withdrew GBP 30. When I already arrived in Jakarta, I received a message (Mobile Banking), saying there is a debit transaction worth a few million Rupiahs for around 3 times. Apparently someone “recorded” my card details and used them to shop in Tesco, London. I lost my entire savings worth more than IDR 8,000,000. I then contacted Bank Mandiri in Jakarta and claimed, because I still had my card with me in Jakarta and had proofs that I was not in London; so then Bank Mandiri accepted my claim and returned my cash.

Last but not least… Have fun! What’s your traveling tip? 

Beaches and ice creams


A couple of months ago I visited such a beautiful city in France, Nice, a few days before I had to deliver a talk at Geneva. Nice is located on the Mediterranean coast, along with Cannes and Monaco – to name a few. I backpacked around the city (I left my luggage in Geneva) and stayed in a youth hostel, Villa Saint Exupery (very recommended!). 

IMG_0097 IMG_0184IMG_0178IMG_0145IMG_0134IMG_0118IMG_0070IMG_0064IMG_0039Nice Jazz Festival

Promenade des Anglais from Colline du Chateau
Theatre National de Nice
On a cruise to Monaco with Trans Cote D’azur
Le Port
A cup of latte while waiting for the cruise to start
A scoop of Nutella ice cream at Fenocchio (best ice cream I’ve tried so far!) 
Velobleu bike could be rented at almost every corner in the city
The ‘tag’ on my bed – I slept on the top of a bunk bed, with other 4 girls in the room (from the UK, South Africa, and also Australia!)
Nice Jazz Festival poster 

I spent the weekend working and resting at the same time, but I am glad I managed to spare some time to try out my new ice cream maker! Today was my first attempt and I made Milo ice cream. Not bad. :D


I am a sucker for ice creams, yes. :] What’s your favourite ice cream flavour or ice cream shop?

Giving back to others


Hari ini, salah seorang teman saya menceritakan mengenai 3 orang yang telah mengabdi kepada komunitasnya melalui berbagai bidang. Orang-orang yang telah melakukan banyak hal yang berguna bagi komunitasnya, tetapi belum banyak menerima dukungan dari orang lain (bahkan, ketika saya coba Googling, hampir belum ada media yang merekam cerita mereka). Padahal, bagi saya cerita mereka menarik sekali untuk disimak.


Yang pertama, ada Endang Mintarja, yang akrab disapa “Kang Endang”. Pengabdian Kang Endang dimulai dari penunjukkannya untuk menjadi salah satu pengurus Rumah Singgah Anak Tersayang yang berada di kawasan Kwitang. Setelah mengenal lebih jauh mengenai konsep ini, Kang Endang menjadi salah satu pimpinan rumah snggah lain, yakni Rumah Singgah Sakinah. Ia pun mengembangkan rumah singgahnya denga menyelenggarakan berbagai program baru, seperti melakukan perlindungan bagi anak jalanan yang terjerat hukum, dengan bekerjasama dengan Lembaga Perlindungan Anak (LPA) Jakarta. Ia juga melakukan pendampingan terhadap anak jalanan melalui program “Kembalikan Senyum Kami”.

‘Satria’ kedua adalah A. Syarifudin, yang awalnya bercita-cita untuk menjadi seorang hakim tapi akhirnya justru menjadi seorang guru. Sejak tahun 1999, ia membina anak jalanan, namun akhirnya mulai mengajar paket C SMP-SMA, diikuti dengan mengajar di SMP. Syarifudin pun lalu mendirikan sebuah SMP bagi anak putus sekolah di Jatinangor. Pada awalnya, ada bupati yang berkenan meminjamkan ruko miliknya kepada Syarifudin untuk melakukan kegiatan belajar mengajar; tapi sekarang ruko tersebut tidak dapat digunakan lagi. Awal tahun ini, ada orang yang mewakafkan tanahnya agar Syarifudin dapat mendirikan sekolah. Tetapi, karena keterbatasan dana, Syarifudin belum dapat mendirikan bangunan tersebut dan membutuhkan bantuan dari teman-teman. :)

Yang terakhir adalah Yulianti Muthmainnah yang memperjuangkan hak-hak perempuan dan melawan kekerasan terhadap perempuan. Ia kerap menyelenggaakan pembinaan bagi perempuan korban kekerasan melalui Lembaga Bantuan Hukum Syahid. Selain itu, ia juga melakukan advokasi bagi kasus pelecehan perempuan yang diselenggarakan oleh LBH APIK di Jakarta selama tiga tahun. Setelah itu, Yulianti masuk ke lembaga Program Pemberdayaan Perempuan bagi Kepala Keluarga (PEKKA) yang didedikasikan untuk pemberdayaan dan advokasi pada kasus-kasus perempuan yang mengalami kekerasan. 

Sebenarnya teman saya tidak cerita sedetil itu, tapi justru memberitahu saya link menuju situs www.3satria.netSitus ini menjadi semacam platform bagi 3 ‘satria’ untuk membagi cerita mereka. Di situs tersebut, kita bisa menunjukkan dukungan kita dengan klik tombol ‘Dukung’, atau langsung membagi cerita mereka melalui jejaring sosial seperti Facebook dan Twitter dengan tombol yang disediakan. By sharing what they do, we might be able to change more lives too :) Akan ada lebih banyak orang yang tau, dan lebih banyak orang yang memberi dukungan mereka. 

Selain itu, seandainya kita mau memberi dukungan secara materil, kita juga bisa menyalurkan donasi untuk mendukung aktivitas mereka. Donasi bisa dikirimkan melalui rekening berikut:

BCA: 878177170
Mandiri: 1030000170817

Let us spread the word. Maybe we can’t give them our money but we can give them our empathy. We can share.

This is how they give back to others. How do you give back to others? 



Last June, I was invited by the International Labour Organisation (ILO) to speak on behalf of Asian youth on the youth panel “Global Youth: Leading Change”, at the 100th Session of the International Labour Conference, Geneva, Switzerland. I shared the stage with prominent young leaders from other continents, including Monique Coleman, the first UN Youth Champion (who is also an actress! Disney Channel lovers must be familiar with her). It was such an honour for me to be able to speak at Palais des Nations. Here’s a video highlight of the session.

However, I managed to secure some time to travel around. Switzerland is a country with the highest living cost in the world, so I decided I should get out of the country to avoid losing a fortune just by traveling around Geneva. So, I booked a flight with a low-cost carrier EasyJet to visit Nice, France, for a few days. :p 

I took a picture with a miniature of Borobudur Temple made of metal (I don’t know which kind – but looks like silver) given by the late Abdurrachman Wahid to the ILO. I also put a picture of the Geneva scenery seen from ILO’s office, as well as the Jet D’eau, Geneva’s most famous landmark.

I had so much fun in Geneva! Thanks to ILO Jakarta – especially Mr. Peter van Rooij (Director of ILO Jakarta) & Mr. Tendy Gunawan – for giving me such great opportunity; also to Mrs. Clare Schenker who assisted me (a lot!) in arranging my trip. Last but not least, thank you my cousin Didiet Maulana for Ikat Indonesia‘s tenun ikat blazer I wore at the conference, and to Diana Rikasari who gave me one of her UP collections, the gorgeous Anjani Black wedges.

What city would you like to visit if you only had 6 months left in your life? :)



It’s been awhile since the last time I wrote here. The last post on my WordPress page dated March 2011 – around 5 months ago. Some people have been asking why haven’t I been writing new stuff or why did they land on my About Me page instead of my writings if they go to my blog address. Well, I must say, I needed some space for myself. After all that happened after the breakout of my blog post into the mass media, I had not been wanting to write on my blog for some time. Most people who came to visit only asked about my mother’s case – some of them said bad things about it; and to be honest, it is always difficult when people who don’t know you, your family, and especially your mother, address their harsh judgments.

So, in the past 5 months, I have dealt with them all, and dealt with myself. I am now ready to write again here (although in the past few months I have also been writing on my Multiply page) and share my stories. The past 5 months have been full of blessings. I met new, awesome people; traveled to a few cities; involved with exciting projects; and held the Indonesian Youth Conference 2011. I really can’t wait to share about them.

Will definitely write again soon.