Have you ever had a problem that keeps coming back to your life? I think we all have. At the beginning, I did not know why a problem should happen over and over again in someone’s life, but now I start to understand.

On the early weeks of 2012, I had been conversing a lot with a very dear friend. We met back in early 2009 when we started Indonesian Youth Conference together remotely as he is studying in Australia. We have gone through a lot of things during the short span of friendship. We frequently argue on tiny to big things and sometimes end up not talking to each other for awhile. Nevertheless, we stay friends until now, and we discuss a heap of things, especially about life, love, and most of all: the problems and lessons in both of them.

image source: weheartit.com

He taught me a very fascinating concept of “learning our lessons”, which I think should be shared. He told me, that whenever we are unable to solve a problem that comes in our lives and take the lessons we should learn out of it, the problem will keep coming back. Not to mention, when it comes back, the “size” would be much bigger than before. The problem will keep coming back because it forces us to learn the lessons it brings. For example, if we fail a course and did not learn the lesson on why we failed the course in school, someday we might fail on another course, big time. 

Sometimes some of us decide to run from a problem, instead of solving it. But, would not it make things even worse? I can not imagine having the same problem coming into my life twice, let alone a bigger one. Most of the time, we can run but we cannot hide – because problems come to our lives to be solved. Problems come to our lives to teach us a lesson. They might be our “teachers”. Yet, what’s the point of attending a course if we do not learn from it? The difference it, this “course” comes in our lives voluntarily yet it must be attended and completed well, unless we would like to retake the course over and over again in the future (which would not be pretty, really).

I have problems in my life. I am sure most of you too. The question is: are we ready to learn the lessons? Even better off, are we ready to share the lessons learned? :)

If you do not mind, kindly share your “lessons learned” from the problems you faced. It must be a hard time for us when it happened, but I am sure as now we look back, everything seems make sense and necessary. Everything will be beautiful in the right time and the right place, indeed. Have a lovely weekend!

In the past weeks, I have been dealing with somewhat tough days. I am aware they might not be as tough as yours, but well, I must say I had been having a hard time to undergo my days. By any means, I believe I am currently amid the adjusting phase in life. I am adjusting and adapting to a new environment with new activities, surrounded by new people. No one can deny the fact that dealing with change is usually difficult, but it is necessary. Nonetheless, I dare say that anyone should be able to get through such thing, including me.

We technically spend each second in our lives growing older. Although most of us do not realize so, growing older is inevitable and it keeps happening, including in my life. I think God has been finding ways to teach me plenty of lessons for me to be a stronger individual. Because change, breakdowns, disappointments, are inescapable but also indispensable. That way, the best way to confront them would be to take the embedded lessons. After all, problems are just vessels carrying lessons we should absorb and learn from.

Source

And to this moment, I have learned that:

In life, we can’t trust anyone, but we sure can believe in some, and have faith in all.

Most people are not like how they seem on the surface. People who are socially awkward or always challenge our ideas might be the truest friends we could have in our lives. On the other hand, people who keep calling us “dear” or “babe” might just say them as a lip-service, and probably say them to every single person they meet.

Some people are plastic. You know. And will forever be plastic. Nothing more.

We need to live a balanced life. It probably should be a “work hard, play hard” for us young people.

Although we could always draft resolutions and set goals for the future, the present is also important thing to be thought about and, of course, enjoyed.

It is always better to have few true friends than tons of fake ones.

One day, our best friend’s life might be hanging on a thread… On that moment, we just have to be with and for them, however difficult it might be or seem.

When somebody talks about us behind our back, it means we are significant to them, if not important.

I am sure of the fact that as we grow older, for every second in our lives, we are going to learn new things. These things are going to help us sail through the sweetness and bitterness of life. The challenges we face everyday. The feelings we would like to manifest. The dreams we would like to turn into plans and then history. Amidst of them all, some people are just going to step in and try to ruin everything, but we just have to keep on going. For this is our life and our journey. For everyone else is going to come and go; but the bests are going to definitely stay for as long as they could. For this life is meant to be wholly enjoyed.

I woke up this morning to the fact that today would be the last day in 2011. Some say NYE is overrated but I am still excited to welcome a new year in a few hours. Plenty of things have happened in 2011 – as I have guessed in the very beginning.

Concluding from the past years in my life, I believe every single year, God (or, if you don’t believe in one, The Universe) always gives us a handful of surprises. I have learned that life has many ups and downs. Sometimes we can be very happy about it; while on other points, it will feel like it is kicking us in the ass. Nonetheless, if there is one thing I could hold on to, it would be that every single thing will be beautiful when it is at the right time and the right place.

The year began (and is ending) with a very hard time for me and my family. I had to make some decisions and tried my best to be the martyr to “save” everything, everyone that I love. I don’t know whether it would pay off or not but I am glad I had been able to do the best I could for my mother and my family. It was a quite scary time and, like it or not, it has pretty much changed the way I think and see a lot of things. I have realised that most “reality shows” (including news) are not that real; and I have learned that some people will ride on your misfortune to look good. On the other hand, I have also learned that no matter how “low” you are in your life, some people will always be there for you. :)

In 2011, I have also been asked to endorse a number of brands for a few months and I am very grateful about that. I have learned a lot from so many people, experts in the industry. So, thank you so much, Multiply, Coca-Cola, XL, and BlackBerry for asking me to board the ship and join the cruise with you guys. It has been a great, great journey!

My mid-of-year was celebrated with the second Indonesian Youth Conference. It was such a mesmerizing moment, because my dream finally came true once again. The visitors tripled from 2010 stats, and although I am no Program Director anymore, I still feel that we have made history once again.

I did get the chance to travel to Switzerland. I went to Geneva to speak on behalf of Asian youth as a panelist in “Global Youth: Leading Change” session, which became a part of the High Level Panels in 100th Session of the International Labour Conference. I shared the stage with Monique Coleman, UN Youth Champion. A few months later, thanks to Om Triawan Munaf & Euro RSCG Jakarta, I participated as a Delegate in One Young World Summit 2011 Zurich.

Another highlight would be on traveling. Before I arrived Geneva, I went to Nice for a few days on a backpacking trip. It was great – my first backpacking trip ever! :) In July, I went to Bali to attend Regional Entrepreneurship Summit, and for the first time drove a stick-shift outside Jakarta (and almost crashed a tree, oh well).

Academically, not much had happened. I had to launch a business for a class project, but it turned out that we really loved the idea so we have decided to take it beyond the assignment. With some friends, I joined business plan competitions and brought a couple of trophy back to campus, for the first time in my life. I also participated in the committee of Regional Youth Leaders Conference and BINUS International Debating Championship (I had never been a part of university events committee before).

In terms of social life, not much has changed. I am aware that I am still pretty much the same damsel. I have met a lot of new people but my closest friends remain the same. I have become more and more attached to my IYC mates, as well as my girlfriends since junior high school.

As for love life, I am glad that this year, I will be celebrating NYE with the same person. A few days before IYC, Ryan acquainted his turning point: the birth of Indonesia’s stand-up comedy community. Since then, he has secured an internship with his dream work place, Imaginary Friends Studios, joined the Stand Up Comedy Indonesia (Kompas TV) competition, and won first place. Ryan and I can’t predict the future, but I endearingly hope that we will stick together as long as we could.

I am pretty sure that my 2012 will be full of surprises as well. I already have a few plans coming up for the year, and I must say, I am tremendously excited about it.

My two-cents to face 2012 would be: Britney Spears said we have to live each day to the fullest; Bruce Lee said the first step to be immortal is to live a life worth remembering. And, yes, dreams come true, if we put much faith in them and tons of hard work to make them come true. ;)

Happy new year!

I remember when I was a kid, I used to spend time with my cousin, Didiet Maulana, and see him (who was still in high school) making fashion sketches. He then continued his endeavor studying Architecture in Universitas Padjadjaran, working for MTV and now PT GAP. However, now I am in university, Mas Didiet has finally reached his dream, to become a fashion designer and have his own fashion line. It is called, IKAT Indonesia.

Didiet and his muse, Izabel Jahja

IKAT Indonesia aims to re-introduce Indonesia’s traditional fabrics, especially tenun ikat, in a fresh, chic, modern way. Please have a look at IKAT Indonesia’s Facebook page to browse more of its collections. Or, visit the place and meet Didiet, at Jl. Dempo I No. 59, Mayestik, Kebayoran Baru, Jakarta.

To close the post, here’s me in IKAT Indonesia at the launch of its first collection. :)

A few days ago, I was invited by the British Council Indonesia to share about my activities with the Global Changemakers as well as others related to the British Council in front of Jo Beall, its Director of Education, who was visiting Indonesia. That day, I met a number of inspiring youth, from a variety of British Council’s programs: Global Changemakers, E-Idea, and AGF-Social Entrepreneurship. Here are a couple of videos to warm up your day.

This is a video about Wangsa Jelita, a social enterprise started by Nadya Saib, which empowers rose farmers in West Java.  Nadya has just graduated from ITB a few years ago, and she is now building her own “dynasty”.

Yet, this one, is a video about Lingkar Ide PPIA, a project started by Dirgayuza, who represented Indonesia in Global Changemakers’ Asian Youth Summit.

Interviews with these two inspiring people can be read in my upcoming book. Enjoy your day!

When I was 13 years old, I wrote a “Life List” — a list containing my dreams and the things I would have to achieve before I die. In that list, I wrote that by the time I graduate from high school, I must have published four or five books. The list was written in 2004; and when I graduated in 2009, I realized that I haven’t written any book while I was studying in high school.

That “Life List” was long gone. I forgot where did I put it, but a few months ago, I found that piece of handwritten list. Suddenly, I was reminded of all of the dreams I have forgotten. Some of the dreams have been accomplished, while the rest haven’t. As I grow older now, though, I have rediscovered myself, and invented a lot of new dreams. The things I want to do before I die. Including, writing a nonfiction book.

In the past one year I have been struggling to finish a new book in between school and my activities outside school. In between everything that I had to juggle. I am delighted to share that those days are finally over — I have finished writing my first nonfiction book.

In that book, I would be sharing about my dreams, my friends’ dreams, and my role models’ dreams. I wrote about all the people that have inspired me, including, probably you! The book is now being “examined” by my editor, and hopefully will come to see you not so long from now. Wish us luck!

However, is there any particular thing you would like me to share in that book? I might be able to squeeze a page or two before it’s printed. :D

Watch this space out for updates on the book, as well as my Facebook page. I’ll be having exciting news coming up!

In a sunny afternoon in September, I ‘crashed’ to Andra Alodita‘s house and had a looong chitchat with her! I don’t know much about photography, but I’ve been adoring her, apparently since I was still in high school (by that time, I did not know her name but I love her works).

After I talked to her, I fell in love with her personality too. I think she is such an inspiration, and might be yours too. She agreed to take pictures of me and we did it all in her room and backyard. It was such a lovely afternoon.

Feel the love and inspiration from this amazing woman, Andra Alodita, right from her online ‘home’.

All photos by Andra Alodita. Make up & hair do by Marlene Hariman & her assistant.

Dress: Primark’s Atmosphere. Present from my big brother. ?

Top: Andra Alodita’s
PS: It’s IYC trophy over there. All speakers had the privilege to own one of those.

Dress: p.a.n.g. A gift from p.a.n.g’s founder, Inda Pangemanan.
Accessories: Andra Alodita’s 
Go to www.panglook.com to get your dress too!

Through photography, I would like to convey that “ordinary” things can be beautiful if we love them, and especially, if we appreciate them. The leaves, our hands, anything in this world — especially the ones that are God’s creatures, have emotions. I would like to express that small things around us are mesmerizing if we are willing to see and to feel more than we usually do.” – Andra Alodita

On October 7, she has just celebrated her birthday. Happy birthday. I wish all your dreams come true, and I wish you would have a long chance to spread courage to others, as well as positivity, and creativity, too.

Thank you for reminding me to fall in love again. Not only with a particular person, but also with what I do, with what I have, with everything that surrounds me, and with God, Andra Alodita.

One of Bruce Lee‘s films, Game of Death, was being screened on a national TV – and then I tweeted right away, “Why is Bruce Lee so hot?”. Apparently it triggered a question to come from my fellow Andreas Arianto – a talented young conductor, as if he did not really believe that I think Bruce Lee was hot. To be honest, I don’t know much about his “martial arts” side of life – what I know is that he invented Jeet Kune Do and taught a lot of successful martial artists. He was also an actor, and accomplished tons of things in his relatively short life.

One of the things that attract me the most when I see a man is his intelligence, yet I think Bruce Lee is one of the most intelligent and wise male public figures I’ve ever read about. He inspires me a lot through his words, his legacy.

He’s said a lot of things, but here are my favourites – the most inspiring ones:

If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.

He always emphasises that we must not limit what we do. This quote has made me stop limiting myself. I now think that I can do everything I want – if I really want it, and work hard for it. It made me accomplish loads of the things I could never thought about!

I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.

Showing off is the fool’s idea of glory.

The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering.

Since the first time I read this, I began to shift my mindset – that I have to make a life worth remembering. I have to create moments I would never forget, do great – awesome things! Don’t you agree?

Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not you go out and look for a successful personality an duplicate it.

This quote motivates me in a way that the most important thing is to be myself. There are a lot of people who has role models and would like to be like them. I could never, ever find a perfect role model for myself – but now, I know why. All I have to do is be myself, and be a good self, become the best of myself. If I have faith in myself, I would be able to do anything.

Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless – like water. Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup, you put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, you put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.

One of the most important things in life is to be flexible and adapt well.

Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind.

Real living is living for others.

So true. If I only live for myself, I am not living.

As long as I can remember I feel I have had this great creative and spiritual force within me that is greater than faith, greater than ambition, greater than confidence, greater than determination, greater than vision. It is all these combined. My brain becomes magnetized with this dominating force which I hold in my hand.

If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done.

Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.

If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made up of.

I think this is the main reason why he was able to accomplish a lot of things in his 33 years of life. It keeps me smiling whenever I am busy (and tired) – because I know that my exhaustion would be all worth it. I am not wasting time at all.

To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.

This one’s the most powerful one to me. I don’t really believe in circumstances. If I want something, I have to make it happen. I have to help myself accomplish it. I have to do something instead of waiting for something to come and get me.

Knowledge will give you power, but character respect.

To know oneself is to study oneself in action with another person.

Emptiness the starting point. — In order to taste my cup of water you must first empty your cup. My friend, drop all your preconceived and fixed ideas and be neutral. Do you know why this cup is useful? Because it is empty.

Yet again, a different perspective from Lee. Most people think that a cup is only useful when it is full… But then, when it is full, we cannot do anything about it, right? I think Lee wanted to emphasise that we have to be humble if we’d like to learn something, so our teachers and peers would be able to fill more and more knowledge into our brain,

Life is wide, limitless. There is no border, no frontier.

The sentence that made me name my blog as: “Eliminating the Limits”!

I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.

We live for others, yes. But, I think we have to live up to our expectations instead of others. This is something I frequently face – people expect too much of myself and I don’t want to disappoint them. This quote made me think a lot about it, and now I think I can at the same time live up to people’s expectations as soon as I have live up to mine.

Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough: we must do.

Can’t agree more with this one. Most of the time, we only know and we are only willing to do something. It’s not enough. It’s useless. We have to apply, we have to do.

Learning is never cumulative, it is a movement of knowing which has no beginning and no end.

I think Lee’s concept of learning is simply beautiful.

The measure of the moral worth of a man is his happiness. The better the man, the more happiness. Happiness is the synonym of well-being.

Happiness is a state of mind!

To grow, to discover, we need involvement which is something I experience everyday, sometimes good, sometimes frustrating.

C’est la vie. That’s life. Shit happens – and that’s okay. I think we need both good and bad things to learn about something. And I personally think that we learn better when we have to face the “bad” ways.

Even today, I dare not say that I have reached a state of achievement. I’m still learning, for learning is boundless.

See the spirit? This mindset is something that has made him successful. We must not be satisfied in any kind of way in order to learn. We would stop learning once we think that we are successful already.

What IS is more important than WHAT SHOULD BE. To many people are looking at “what is” from a position of thinking “what should be.”

I gotta keep this in mind. I often see “what is” from a position of thinking “what should be” – and I start becoming unrealistic, selfish, egoistic, individualistic, obsessive. I have to change it – because “what is” of course is more important, it is something that really exists.

—

Sorry if it is short and not that insightful, but I do hope that more and more people would be inspired. As Bruce Lee once said, “We are the students of life.”

Care to share who is your role model? :)

I suspect the following words are going to be few of the hardest ones to write. This is my second attempt, as my first draft vanished into the air right after I clicked “Save”. Ironic. Nevertheless, writing would be the best medium for me to express how I feel, what I would like to say, and the things I’d like to convey. I wanted to sing for you but I know nothing about intonations, let alone tunes, and I am going to ruin any song that I try to sing. I don’t draw, I don’t sew, I don’t make crafts… Therefore, I hope you’re okay with this.

So, hello, lad. We have been together for a few hundred days, huh? 365 felt so fast yet so slow at the same time. It feels so fast until I feel like I have never even known you before; it feels so slow I get to bitch about the fact that we have only been together for one year. Despite these, I am grateful I get to go through the ticks and the tocks with you. In between the traffic jams – so crazy they make most of us lose our sanity; and inside an airplane that takes off at 200 miles per hour. The way time goes by will always be a secret, but I can never ask for a better way to experience it.

You have changed me. You have made me a much better person. It has been full of surprises. You surprisingly have made me rediscover myself. My wounds and scars have surprisingly been healed. My phobias are even cured. No more being breathless in elevators. No more having a leaping heart while conversing on a rooftop for our anniversary dinner.

You are my version of Forrest Gump’s box full of chocolates, “You never know what you are going to get”. I did not know how you would “taste” before I “opened” you, before I saw everything in you – but as soon as I did, I completely love it. Both the sweet and bitterness. Day and night. 24/7/365. I consume it until it runs out, and am yearning for more. Can I ask for more? Can I melt with you?

I remember when you said you can promise me nothing about forever, for the future is full of uncertainties, and I told you we can never know who our soulmate is. But… I also remember when you promised me you would stay by my side no matter how ugly things might get, and you agreed when I told you the only thing to figure out if we are soulmate for each other or not would be to stay together until we depart.

Thank you.

For being the person who always reminds me to protect my dreams, and pursue them. For being the person who contains me. For wanting to stick with me no matter how irritating I have always been. For still being there and still listening whenever I babble about everything in my life. For being the place to lean on when I had to go through the lowest points of my life. For getting along with my family. For letting me get along with yours. For reminding me to always be good, and do good deeds to others. For making me wanting to be a much better version of myself. For wanting to make me proud. For succeeding of making me proud. For the gifts. For the surprise, stolen kisses. For the warmest hugs ever. For the stories. For the laughs. For the advices. For the lessons. For the dates. For the night outs. For the night ins. For wanting to invent your dreams with me. For letting me be a part of your life. For asking me to be a part of mine.

For wanting to be responsible for my feelings, especially my happiness.

Happy first anniversary, sweetheart. I hope this would not be our only one. I’ve got no problem if I’ll have to write a piece like this every year (as long as you give Telling the World song like today…). But, if, it is our only anniversary – I am sure I will never regret of agreeing to be in this relationship.

I love you. I hope I have made you happy. :)

I’m so grateful to you, I’d have lived my whole life through lost forever… if I never knew you. ?

One of my best friends, Sasha, recommended a song by Tonex, called “Blend“. It’s a great song, embedded with beautifully written lyrics. Tonex reminds me of DC Talk, both of them combine gospel and R&B, and are praised by doing so.

Have you ever wished you were someone else? Have you ever idolized someone so much you wish you could have been like him/her? Having a role model does not mean we have to follow everything he/she does. It means having an external motivation. It means having a tool to remind yourself that you can go beyond the boundaries, that you can go forth–eliminate the limits. It means you can be the best version of yourself. No need to be someone else. No need to be anyone else.

Do you really wanna be like them?
Do you really wanna act like them?
Do you really wanna sound like them?
Why do you try so hard to blend?

Do you really wanna look like them?
Do you really wanna talk like them?
Do you really wanna sing like them?
Why do you try so hard to blend?

You wonder why they hate you
You wonder why they tolerate you
You wonder why you had to be you
Cause you’re trying too hard to blend
You wonder why they spite you
No matter how hard you try
Because you’re never blending with them
You are unique in God’s eyes 

Cause by the time you blend into one thing
It’s time to blend into something else
Blending takes too much of your energy
Be you for who you are
Because someone wants to be like you
And they might just lose their star

Who’s your role model, by the way? I got a lot, which includes Ronan Farrow. Oops, I meant, he’s a role model whom I’d love to have as a boyfriend. :>