January 16, 2010 14

Everything Changed

By in Personal

Reading time: 2 – 2 minutes

2009 was an eventful year for me. Indeed, it was. A lot of things happened, and all of them left a great impact in my life. I turned 18, and I think I grew up. I used to think that being a grown up is sad. I am a person who believes that being a child is somehow magical, and childhood is the best stage in our lives. When I was a child, I was not that happy. I had to witness the things any child would never have to see. Last year, I experienced some things that anyone would never experience. The good and the bad ones.

In 2009, I learned so much. But sometimes, when it’s too much, you can’t handle it, because the cup is full and it can’t contain.  Yet, I have always needed someone who could contain me. I had one.

Ever since university started, I have changed, into something I don’t know yet exactly. And I am not really happy about that.

For someone as Pisces as I am, it feels funny to be so rational about things. I now rarely use my feelings. Using my brain and mind would be enough, using my logical intelligence would be enough, using the rules would be enough. I keep my feelings somewhere else, for it to be safe, for it to be untouchable. I don’t know when I would want to open the treasure chest again. Because  something in it is broken, and I desperately need a glue, or an ICU to make it fixed, to make it healed.

I am trying to steal my old-self back, from something I don’t really know what. Well, we all have to admit that change is the only constant thing in this world. People told me that “change is good”. I don’t feel the same.


14 Responses to “Everything Changed”

  1. ribkha says:

    In 2009, I learned so much. But sometimes, when it’s too much, you can’t handle it, because the cup is full and it can’t contain.–>gue suka banget kata2 yang ini :)

  2. aisha says:

    2009 WAS AWESOME

  3. dela says:

    hey, glad for having such as awesome year.
    and, oh, i prefer this template! it’s pink anyway, looks cuter! :)

  4. andrykidd says:

    you know what…life is like a game sometimes we win and sometimes we learn..and changes are part of it!

  5. Yeah, I feel that being in college changed me too. Changes ARE good sometimes, but when you lose yourself, it’s pretty clear you’ve done something wrong.

  6. Nitya says:

    hi, nice blog. This is my 1st visit to your blog.
    I hope you’ll have great year in 2010, Alanda.
    :)

  7. arya says:

    It’s been a long time since i visited your blog last time (maybe in 2009), congratulation for your 2nd book launching
    I’m going to start my uni life soon. Frankly i’m a bit concern about it, i’m afraid i’ll be living in someone else’s life. I love new things, but every new things come with a change. that’s the consequence

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